Monday, 14 May 2012

Vigor's Denaming Guidelines

The incantation is given below.  It begins by flattering the lesser gods and bureaucrats (always a good idea) and then moves on to a solemn yet humble request.

"In the name of all who have sailed aboard this ship in the past, and in the name of all who may sail aboard her in the future, we invoke the ancient gods of the wind and the sea to favour us with their blessing today.  Mighty Neptune, king of all that moves in or on the waves; and mighty Aeolus, guardian of the winds and all that blows before them: We offer you our thanks for the protection you have afforded this vessel in the past. We voice our gratitude that she has always found shelter from tempest and storm and enjoyed safe passage to port.  Now, wherefore, we submit this supplication, that the name whereby this vessel has hitherto been known [speak the name here], be struck and removed from your records. [Here is where you cast the item containing the name of the boat over the bow during the outgoing tide.]  Further, we ask that when she is again presented for blessing with another name, she shall be recognized and shall be accorded once again the selfsame privileges she previously enjoyed.  In return for which, we rededicate this vessel to your domain in full knowledge that she shall be subject as always to the immutable laws of the gods of the wind and the sea.  In consequence whereof, and in good faith, we seal this pact with a libation offered according to the hallowed ritual of the sea."

The libation offered should be of the best quality you can afford and you must accept to offer the WHOLE BOTTLE to Neptune and his servants.  Some of the cheap-asses among you may, at this point, be considering a blood sacrifice, but I regret to inform you that despite an extensive search I have found not one shred of information regarding the appropriate blood-equivalents for the volumes required. Listen, before whining about this, just tell yourself that if you plan to be a world cruiser, you need to get comfortable with the whole baksheesh culture, so get over it.