The experts will tell you that the first thing you should
do when looking for a boat is to define your navigation project in order to
know what sort of boat will best suit your needs. This is a good exercise to do. And once you’ve done it, you should promptly wad up the paper you wrote
it on and throw it in the nearest trashcan.
Such an exercise is like asking your mother what kind of man you should
marry. The only thing that will sustain
you through all the expense and frustration of boat ownership is lust.
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| Our search for the perfect boat: The Dating Game |
Bachelor Number 2 was “Mr. Viagra”; artificial
performance in an old hull.
Bachelor Number 3 was “Keith Richards”. No further explanation required, me thinks.
Bachelor Number 4 was a bit more promising, but the
only name that came to mind was “Sloppy Joe”.
This was the same model as the Metrosexual, but outfitted for more
performance, with detachable forestay and headsails, davits on the stern, and a
winch on the mast. Unfortunately, the
upkeep of the boat was lamentable, the rigging rusty, the repair jobs sloppy,
and the sails looked like my grandmother’s panties drying on the line. After 3 visits, we made an offer that was
just this side of insulting. We’re still
waiting to hear back.
Bachelor Number 5 was “The Family Man”. A steady, comfortable, safe, reasonably
well-maintained floating camping car. On
the lust scale, this boat was a 3 out of 10.
We said we’d think about it. (When
we’re in our 80s.)
And then there he was, just in time to save us from the
jaws of despair. It was too good to be
true. It was “MacGyver”; a little bit of
age on him, but capable of doing anything and going anywhere, with a certain
style to boot. We were in love.
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